The makeup industry exists for a reason—to make women both look and feel prettier.
Let’s face it—have you ever seen a woman in the morning with no makeup? It’s like looking directly into the Predator’s bunghole.
(pictured: the “Part of Me” Katy Perry will never ever let you take away from her)
Here’s a tip to the guys: marry a woman who you think is beautiful without makeup. Trust me. Unless she’s a clown, you’ll spend more time seeing her without makeup than with makeup–so you may as well both enjoy it.
The following woman took a picture of herself with no makeup and uploaded it to Reddit. And after looking at it, she deserves the Nobel Prize for bravery more than the “Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons” (who apparently can’t find Syria on a map) and that poor girl who was shot by the Taliban (shit, 50 Cent didn’t get no Nobel Prize for getting shot by thugs).
Before you women get your panties in a bunch, I’m not a huge fan of the numbers system because there are no standard measurements and your weird friends always have 9s and 10s because they’re into “athletic girls” (read: chicks with abs) or “Asian chicks” (read: massage parlor handjobs) or “athletic Asian girls” (read: Strap-on City). But I can safely call this girl a 4.
Now, look at her with makeup.
I can now safely say this girl doubled her rating with a few minutes at the mirror, so let’s say she’s an 8.
But not everyone is comfortable with that, and by “not everyone” I mean some bitchy dude who sounds like he got an unwelcome surprise in one of those Bangkok bars:
Reddit user plokoonismyfave initiated the war of words when he wrote: ‘The left is uglier than the right, but beauty is subjective. The right is her wearing a (figurative and literal) mask.’
plokoonismyfave pointed out the fact that a man who artificially altered his appearance would be seen in a negative light, too.
‘If a guy wore prosthetic muscles under a long-sleeve shirt (à la Superman costumes), you would likely feel as if you had been deceived, regardless of what you thought of the person,’ he wrote.
He then went on to accuse the woman in the photo of disguising her insecurites with cosmetics.
‘The girl in the photo is apparently not satisfied with the way she looks without makeup,’ he said, ‘and uses makeup to artificially portray a person more people would find attractive.’
You can’t make a call on beauty but then claim that it’s subjective.
You also can’t compare this to a guy wearing prosthetic muscles. I’m no mathematician, but I can assure you the prosthetic muscle industry remains well behind the makeup industry. It’s like claiming that you’re mad the dog peed on the lawn and backing it up by saying “I’d also be mad if a giraffe peed on my lawn!”
Third of all, the girl is a makeup artist, so it’s her job. If she worked as a seamstress and also sewed herself a dress, you wouldn’t claim that she is disguising her insecurities with fabric and using thread to artificially portray a person more people would find attractive.
There’s nothing worse than male concern-trolls, also known as Male Feminists.
These are the guys who support abortion (it’s a woman’s right to choose!) to get laid, despite the fact that more men support it than women (shouldn’t women be making decisions about their own bodies?).
The guys who bullshit about “natural beauty” but still jack to Megan Fox.
The guys who are all about the pointless 70-cents-on-the-dollar statistic on women’s earnings and then wonder why you didn’t hand-bleach their shit-stained tighty-whities for them.
I am not one of those men, so like our President would say, “let me be clear”.
Ladies, makeup can turn you from a 4 to an 8. You know it, other women know it, and guys know it. Let’s not fool ourselves and pretend that by wearing makeup you’re hiding a secret boner you’ll surprise us with back at the Motel 6.
Because obviously I’d opt for the Red Roof Inn.
UPDATE 9/15: Obviously, The Daily Mail picked up on this piece (I’m flattered guys, really) and released an article today showing how a St. Petersburg makeup artists transformed some pretty average looking Russian women into complete supermodels. Worth a look/fap.