You’re most intolerant of yourself

I was talking to a friend of mine when she was saying that she couldn’t just “chill out”.

Being too lazy to offer to come by and “Netflix and chill”, I realized that maybe I could talk through this one.

this man is an american hero

After asking her what’s wrong, she said she felt like a “slacker because I’m sick” and that it was “[keeping] her from bringing [her] A game which was the plan”.

I don’t know what came over me, but I responded as follows:

that’s ok
you just have to respect the process

I paused, not knowing what the hell I just said.

i know it sounds weird
but you have to have some tolerance and acceptance of where you’re at
and then once you’re there, it will be easier to be more productive and move forward

What have I gotten myself into? This is completely incomprehensible. She knows it, I know it, dammit why didn’t I just drive over for some for some N’n’C?

sage advice

As she was describing how she felt, the first thing that struck me was how hard she was being on herself.

Normally I’m not one to criticize something like that. I usually feel that people should be harder on themselves than they already are.

that time peta fat-shamed doe

But it seemed so negative, and not in a pitying way either, more in a “I take full responsibility for this situation but that obviously doesn’t make it any less shitty way”.

And then it hit me – you’re most intolerant of yourself.

We spend a lot of time and even more air talking about intolerance towards this group, or that person, or some identity you didn’t even know existed until last week.

If you’re an intolerant person to others, chances are you’re more intolerant of yourself than anyone else – after all, you spend more time around yourself than anyone else. You being intolerant to yourself is the number one opportunity to be intolerant every single day, and that accumulates.

what are the other two?  THIS IS OUR WATERGATE PEOPLE

But what exactly is intolerance?

Impatience.

Criticism.

Holding yourself to an excessively higher standard than you hold others.

By the way – excessive self-love is a form of intolerance. It’s trying to heal wounds through a form of self-gratification. You shouldn’t love yourself, you should accept yourself to improve yourself.

too small to read sorry folks i can’t improve

Also, acceptance without change is intolerant of yourself.

Doesn’t sound like you’re not fully representing yourself.

Sounds like you’re doing a crap job as your own attorney in the court of life.

“WU TANG CLAN AINT NOTHIN TO–”

*judge furiously bangs gavel*

Being tolerant of yourself is acceptance and still trying to change.

The tolerance comes in when you accept the speed at which you move to change, the steps you have to take, the setbacks and the pushes forward.

Even if you’re, as she describes herself, a “spleenless mess mad scientist but shi**y scientist”.

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