# wyatttorosian.com ## Posts - [The best days](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-best-days/): What would the best day of your life look like? A slow morning in bed, maybe coffee brought to you? Some shopping, a relaxing drive and enjoyable lunch? Walking around town, a raucous dinner of your favorite meal? Watching a sunset? What does the place look like? A place from your childhood? The people you love around you? Why not make more days like that? If I had one day to live, I’d spend it in a little town on the California coast called Carmel-by-the-Sea. The fog rolls in off the Pacific in the morning, and sometimes it stays all […] - [Real Life in a Hallmark Town](https://wyatttorosian.com/real-life-in-a-hallmark-town/): Dispatches from the Front…ier About a year ago I decided to pack up and head up to Idaho, to a small town on a lake that would make a perfect setting for a Hallmark movie. A decade and a half and a broken heart in a big city was enough. Unlike the girl in the movies, I didn’t really have a hometown to move back to. The place where I’m from, in suburbia California, was not exactly conducive to coziness. But there was this idyllic town up north, overlooking a lake, where it’s hot in the summer and snows in […] - […Or is it?](https://wyatttorosian.com/or-is-it/): So, what does happen with the villains in the Hallmark movies? Usually they were prioritizing work (evil!) over romance and living life in general. But despite being taught by media from birth that people are what matter – aren’t we taught by society and helicopter parents to do exactly that? Reminder – this is the same society that is telling young people they don’t need to go to college while assuming they already have a college degree. The villain arc (we do it for that silly Wicked movie you all seem to like) as actually the protagonist and a victim […] - [It's not like life is a Hallmark movie](https://wyatttorosian.com/its-not-like-life-is-a-hallmark-movie/): …or is it? Hallmark movies are a crucial part of any holiday season (SORRY, WE CAN SAY CHRISTMAS NOW) because they combine the three greatest parts of this time of year: 1. Coziness 2. Predictability 3. Realizing All Hope Is Not Lost Coziness There is nothing more cozy than sidling up to a Hallmark Movie, fire roaring, a crippling amount of snacks in hand. No matter where you are (except Florida) it’s cold this time of year and you really don’t want to brave the winter just to get snacks. No, you want to sit inside and consume something comforting […] - [Charli ex-gay-ex](https://wyatttorosian.com/charli-ex-gay-ex/): Brat summer, or the last gasp of the millennial gay, did untold cultural damage. this man was in a presidential cabinet All for an album of middling beats and one bop (Apple), filtered through a sieve from underground culture, SOPHIE, Kim Petras B-sides, and whatever else the trannies have been putting out the past 8 or so years. rip queen Of course it’s fitting that instead of true gender benders (Bowie, Grace Jones, Pete Burns) we have a poor imitation: a young(ish) British woman taking music for the GWORLS and making it safe for Brenda in HR to listen to […] - [Pillar of salt](https://wyatttorosian.com/pillar-of-salt/): LA gets a bum rap as the land of Sodom and Gomorrah, where vodka sodas run as freely as celebrities with their antics. get in girls, we’re making the most iconic photo since the zapruder film If you watch the movie “Babylon” (which I encourage everyone to, twice, three times, most slept upon movie of the past decade) you’ll see such reverie in graphic detail. Luxurious parties, endless champagne, men and women in partial states of undress cavorting. the abbey a few years back before they started spiking women’s drinks But meanwhile, across town (as they say on that show […] - [How I learned to quit drinking and start living](https://wyatttorosian.com/how-i-learned-to-quit-drinking-and-start-living/): If I told you there’s a drink that makes your anxiety go away would you take it? Just one glass, once a day, and BOOM. The thoughts that rack your brain, keep you up at night, distract you from work, pull you out of conversations, make you bite your nails and hunch and be irritable all day just disappear. Of course you’d drink it. Who wants to spend life anxious? Smart people would pause and ask, “wait, what are the side effects?” “Ah!” I would say, “the anxiety doesn’t ACTUALLY go away. It’s numb for a little while, and then […] - [Take a Hike!](https://wyatttorosian.com/take-a-hike/): Every morning I go for a hike in the Hollywood Hills. I know that sounds glamorous, and sure I see my share of celebrities (including a hastily powerwalking Lisa Rinna) but it’s actually mostly sweaty. I started hiking in late 2020 during the p________ I’m sorry, I can’t say that word anymore. I keep hearing people say, in real life conversation, “during the pandemic” and I just can’t take anything they say seriously after that statement. It’s so trite and obnoxious, because it’s usually bookended by some good thing that happened while people were locked inside their homes.  think of […] - [The Honest Company](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-honest-company/): The Honest Co (Jessica Alba’s Billion-with-a-B baby care line) worked because they chose one adjective to describe a real problem – do you know what chemicals are in your baby’s products? It hit the cultural zeitgeist right at the time when people started to pay attention to BPA in baby bottles and right on the downswing of the Organic movement of the mid-00s. I hate to say it, but the Ethical/Vegan movement as a culturally relevant movement is over, and adjectives describing either of those sound too preachy or clinical to a potential shopper. Many products are vegan now. Candles, […] - [15 Years Later](https://wyatttorosian.com/15-years-later-2/): For the past 15 years I have been a drinker, and it has cost me most of the relationships in my life. The people around me have been scared both of me and for me. When I drink, I often lose control, and no matter how many times I’ve tried to moderate, when I’m in, I’m in. I realize that if I keep drinking for the next 15 years, I won’t live another 15 years. Like my father before me, and my grandfather before him, I will have a heart attack in my 40s, and likely will not survive it […] - [15 Years Later](https://wyatttorosian.com/15-years-later/): For the past 15 years I have been a drinker, and it has cost me most of the relationships in my life. The people around me have been scared both of me and for me. When I drink, I often lose control, and no matter how many times I’ve tried to moderate, when I’m in, I’m in. I realize that if I keep drinking for the next 15 years, I won’t live another 15 years. Like my father before me, and my grandfather before him, I will have a heart attack in my 40s, and likely will not survive it […] - [He's a gem](https://wyatttorosian.com/hes-a-gem/): Damian was one of a kind. People say that about people they know, but he truly was an original, probably bordering on odd. I don’t know any man in his 30s who drinks sherry like an elderly British woman while petting his cat. Bond villaindom aside, Damian had an endless capacity for information. There is no other person I’ve ever met who could rattle off Congressional district representatives by district number, or whip out an obscure world’s capital. He became a walking Wikipedia – for God’s sake, he wrote and edited a staggering portion of it. It’s no wonder he […] - [The Starbucks A-Lister](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-starbucks-a-lister-2/): It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have a…how shall we say this…Starbucks addiction. Every day, at around the same time, I go to my local Starbucks and I purchase a Venti or Trenta iced black coffee, unsweetened, light ice. The unsweetened is so they don’t put that ungodly, sickly syrup in the drink that ruins it. The light ice is so they don’t cheat me on the amount of actual coffee that goes into my cup (Alfred Coffee has caught onto this and charges $0.50 more for light ice, so they’re dead to me). The black coffee is because I […] - [The Starbucks A-Lister](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-starbucks-a-lister/): It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have a…how shall we say this…Starbucks addiction. Every day, at around the same time, I go to my local Starbucks and I purchase a Venti or Trenta iced black coffee, unsweetened, light ice. The unsweetened is so they don’t put that ungodly, sickly syrup in the drink that ruins it. The light ice is so they don’t cheat me on the amount of actual coffee that goes into my cup (Alfred Coffee has caught onto this and charges $0.50 more for light ice, so they’re dead to me). The black coffee is because I […] - [The late, great Gilbert Gottfried](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-late-great-gilbert-gottfried/): The greatest gift I’ve ever been given was by my friend Maggie (Michal), who asked Gilbert Gottfried to record a Cameo video after I’d gotten into a bad car accident (Armenian on Armenian crime). It was exactly what I needed, and I treasure it to this day. The day after she ordered the Cameo, my dear friend saw Gilbert in Studio City (he was a known pedestrian and cheapskate) and almost accidentally ran him over near the crosswalk.   It would’ve made for one hell of a story arc, and I’d laugh over it visiting my friend in jail after her […] - [Gotcha!](https://wyatttorosian.com/gotcha/) - [I've been rearranging my sock drawer](https://wyatttorosian.com/ive-been-rearranging-my-sock-drawer/): I haven’t posted in awhile, and I’m sure people must think I’m dead. I’ve, frankly, been away from my desk. Now that we can leave the house, I’ve been to the East Coast and Pacific Northwest, gone on countless adventures with family and friends, gotten exercise every day, plenty of dinner and drinks and nights on the town, spent quality time with my special person, and all that horseshit we couldn’t do a year ago during the global panini. And now that I’m not home, the one thing I’ve been neglecting has been, well, home. My apartment has become a […] - [I love the 90s!](https://wyatttorosian.com/i-love-the-90s/): I was a patient kid. I know that may come as a shock to many of you, and it’s a startling admission I’d normally only make if the magazines paid the right price. I remember being really good at waiting. Waiting in the doctor’s office. Waiting for certain shows to come on. Waiting my turn. Somewhere along the way I lost that ability and now I may well be the Most Impatient Person on Earth. Like, I’m at New Yorker levels of “get it done”. There’s ways I’ve found it can be really helpful – in a work context, things […] - [The ghost of self-pity](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-ghost-of-self-pity-2/): There’s a haunting about, and it’s not even Halloween. It’s the ghost of self-pity, better known as “Why Me?” It creeps up even among the strongest of us, and hits when you least expect it. This ghost presents itself in some distinct, wild forms: Guilt: I did X, and then Y happened.Example; I called Sheela fat, and then she slapped me with her fat hand.To avert from the pain of Sheela’s embiggened palm, you can hurt yourself a little more by being upset that you hurt someone else with your comments. From there you have a choice: revel in misery […] - [The ghost of self-pity](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-ghost-of-self-pity/): There’s a haunting about, and it’s not even Halloween. It’s the ghost of self-pity, better known as “Why Me?” It creeps up even among the strongest of us, and hits when you least expect it. This ghost presents itself in some distinct, wild forms: Guilt: I did X, and then Y happened.Example; I called Sheela fat, and then she slapped me with her fat hand.To avert from the pain of Sheela’s embiggened palm, you can hurt yourself a little more by being upset that you hurt someone else with your comments. From there you have a choice: revel in misery […] - [The University of Flow State](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-university-of-flow-state-2/): I don’t know if you have them on your March Madness bracket, but there’s a little known school called The University of Flow State. They’re as elusive as they are effective, coming out of nowhere to surprise you and then vanishing seemingly without a trace. What’s Flow State you ask? good video when you have time to watch of a fighter describing his career setbacks and how he learned about the importance of getting into flow state The concept is to get into a mode where you can simply execute effectively – pushing yourself but not focusing on perfection, only […] - [The University of Flow State](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-university-of-flow-state/): I don’t know if you have them on your March Madness bracket, but there’s a little known school called The University of Flow State. They’re as elusive as they are effective, coming out of nowhere to surprise you and then vanishing seemingly without a trace. What’s Flow State you ask? good video when you have time to watch of a fighter describing his career setbacks and how he learned about the importance of getting into flow state The concept is to get into a mode where you can simply execute effectively – pushing yourself but not focusing on perfection, only […] - [Motivation - your own internal pyramid scheme](https://wyatttorosian.com/motivation-your-own-internal-pyramid-scheme/): Motivation is one of those elusive concepts in life – a feeling without description, an action that parades as a concept. It’s black and white – you’re motivated, or not motivated. Being unmotivated leads to all kinds of bad feelings: anxiety, depression, fatigue, restlessness, and whatever else they tell you really quickly as a side effect at the end of pill ads. Obviously we want to avoid that, so the only other option is to be motivated. Usually this comes from coffee, having bills to pay, trying to impress friends and family, and enough guilt and shame to power a […] - [Saturday Night Fever!](https://wyatttorosian.com/saturday-night-fever-2/): The past year of living through a global panini has been absolutely exhausting for everyone, and we deserve a #WhiteBoySummer as compensation. iconic Part of this process has been getting vaccinated. For starters – I’m not a needle person. I thought they were cool as a kid until my doctor thought I had leukemia (surprise! I was fine) and I had to get twice-weekly blood tests. Eventually I got bored and I asked the nurse to stick me in the top of my hand (ow) and after months and months, I grew to fear anything needle or syringe related (thank […] - [Saturday Night Fever!](https://wyatttorosian.com/saturday-night-fever/): The past year of living through a global panini has been absolutely exhausting for everyone, and we deserve a #WhiteBoySummer as compensation. iconic Part of this process has been getting vaccinated. For starters – I’m not a needle person. I thought they were cool as a kid until my doctor thought I had leukemia (surprise! I was fine) and I had to get twice-weekly blood tests. Eventually I got bored and I asked the nurse to stick me in the top of my hand (ow) and after months and months, I grew to fear anything needle or syringe related (thank […] - [The terrifying present](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-terrifying-present/): One of the things in life I’ve never understood (or, at least, never done a good job of trying to) is the concept of living in the present. It seems so alien – it’s easy to be running from the past and anxiously trying to scrape together some sort of future that the present is an obstacle. Notice the framing there: running from the past, scraping together the future. The past is something to be escaped, the future is something to fear, and the present is an ever-changing miserable membrane between the two. None of this sounds like much of […] - [Good day to you sir!](https://wyatttorosian.com/good-day-to-you-sir/): What is a good day?What is a bad day? Our concepts of either are usually tinted by the events that happen to us – you get a flat tire (bad day), you get a raise (good day), you get a haircut (good day), the haircut is bad (bad day). It’s a way to go through life where one’s enjoyment is reserved for only the obvious moments, the rest is muddling through to get to that point. What do we call a day where a combination of those events occur? Suppose you get a flat tire on your way to hearing […] - [Vulnerability](https://wyatttorosian.com/vulnerability/): It’s easy to write when you have something on your mind to talk about – you dissociate a little, channel something, words flow freely, and there you go. It seems almost deceptively simple.  In 20-30 minutes you have a finished product and you feel really proud of yourself.  You’re relieved, leaving only a trail of armpit sweat behind. The hardest times to write are when the voice feels – distant.  Like a friend who’s left.  You’re alone without your thoughts – it’s empty, and you think “well, I’ll just take a nap”.  And you do and wake up in a […] - [One year later](https://wyatttorosian.com/one-year-later/): A year ago today, at this moment, I heard “Code Blue” and a cavalcade of doctors and nurses rushed into the Cardiac ICU unit to try and resuscitate my mom.  This wasn’t the first time. In 2004 she lost consciousness for approximately 10 minutes and was revived. Later, her installed defibrillator discharged frequently, indicating that her erratic heartbeat had moved outside of safe limits.  Two days before this moment a year ago today, she lost consciousness again, for minutes, and was brought back again. So this time when the doctor walked out of the ICU with choked up voice and […] - [Coming out: the other side](https://wyatttorosian.com/coming-out-the-other-side/): My therapist will tell you that “coming out” is one of the most pivotal moments of a gay man’s life. Being party to something you know is true, might be true, you don’t know if it’s true, but others – do they think it’s true?…is an indescribable magnitude of difficulty, ripping through like earthquake waves on a daily basis to the point where you forgot where you were when the shaking started. I never really “came out”. And it’s not like I walked out of my mother’s womb to show tunes (it was a C-section) – I genuinely think there […] - [#Wyatt2028](https://wyatttorosian.com/wyatt2028/): You should want Trump to succeed. Because if he doesn’t, you’re gonna get me in office for a few years. And I promise I’m a lot more focused, a lot more precise, a lot more motivated, and a lot meaner than he could ever be. And worst of all – I know how this government works. It’s your choice, America! #Wyatt2028 at your peril. - [Wyatt Torosian, Author](https://wyatttorosian.com/wyatt-torosian-author/): One of the things I deeply admire about Ann Coulter is that she has one byline: “Author.” It’s in her Twitter bio, and it’s so barnburningly succinct. In an era when anyone and everyone is trying to be a “brand” or what have you, it’s good to see some people still focus on the “do” part of “what do you do”. And as someone who’s been weirdly associated with politics since, well, since I read my first Coulter book about 15 years ago, I always imagined that could be me too someday. “Author.” Of course, you have to write a […] - [Wyatt Torosian, Author](https://wyatttorosian.com/wyatt-torosian-author/): One of the things I deeply admire about Ann Coulter is that she has one byline: “Author.” It’s in her Twitter bio, and it’s so barnburningly succinct. In an era when anyone and everyone is trying to be a “brand” or what have you, it’s good to see some people still focus on the “do” part of “what do you do”. And as someone who’s been weirdly associated with politics since, well, since I read my first Coulter book about 15 years ago, I always imagined that could be me too someday. “Author.” Of course, you have to write a […] - [Learning about gratitude](https://wyatttorosian.com/learning-about-gratitude/): Six months later and I’m learning about gratitude. It’s always a lesson I scoffed at as if it wasn’t important. It seemed too simple, too childlike, too inapplicable. Six months ago I walked out of the ICU to get a bagel and some coffee. Another bad night of sleep against a window, hoping the new day would bring some good news. I ate and returned, and sat wearily on the chair, scrolling through houses, and then as soon as I found one I thought would work, that godforsaken alarm started again, but this one was different, louder, unceasing, the numbers […] - [Holly Carter, 1968-2019](https://wyatttorosian.com/holly-carter-1968-2019/): There’s no reason I should have to write an obituary with such a short span of years, but the ravages of cancer require such mathematical adjustments. The Fresno community lost a truly special lady, Holly Carter. I know Holly from the 2008 election, where she coordinated a media event the day Sarah Palin was named as the VP candidate. She saw the footage of me suggesting candidate McCain choose Palin as his running mate, and the unconventional choice had the media scrambling to find out where this decision came from. Holly worked with a local political organization, and her communications […] - [Holly Carter, 1968-2019](https://wyatttorosian.com/holly-carter-1968-2019/): There’s no reason I should have to write an obituary with such a short span of years, but the ravages of cancer require such mathematical adjustments. The Fresno community lost a truly special lady, Holly Carter. I know Holly from the 2008 election, where she coordinated a media event the day Sarah Palin was named as the VP candidate. She saw the footage of me suggesting candidate McCain choose Palin as his running mate, and the unconventional choice had the media scrambling to find out where this decision came from. Holly worked with a local political organization, and her communications […] - [Silly little project](https://wyatttorosian.com/silly-little-project/): Somehow I’ve crawled from beneath the dust of my own writer’s block to return to this silly little project I started awhile ago. It’s remarkable – the timbre of the voice that says “your writing will never be as good as it was, and it wasn’t even that good to begin with.” I don’t know why I put myself through this. Everything, even the most basic steps, seems exhausting. Some days I don’t even unpack the keyboard, and I’ll spend endless hours refreshing Twitter or deep in a Wikipedia black hole about George McGovern, leaving the one thing I *should* […] - [The art of letting go](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-art-of-letting-go-2/): As those of who you follow my Instastories know (god I’m sorry you have to see those), I’ve recently become obsessed with Marie Kondo and her whole tidying up routine. For those who haven’t seen the show (including me!) it’s about sifting through the clutter and identifying things that no longer serve you, and letting them go with gratitude. For example, she’ll have a couple empty their entire closet onto the bed, followed by the inevitable shock that people have all this STUFF. (Yes I haven’t seen the show, but goddammit I read the Atlantic piece on it.) When it […] - [The art of letting go](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-art-of-letting-go/): As those of who you follow my Instastories know (god I’m sorry you have to see those), I’ve recently become obsessed with Marie Kondo and her whole tidying up routine. For those who haven’t seen the show (including me!) it’s about sifting through the clutter and identifying things that no longer serve you, and letting them go with gratitude. For example, she’ll have a couple empty their entire closet onto the bed, followed by the inevitable shock that people have all this STUFF. (Yes I haven’t seen the show, but goddammit I read the Atlantic piece on it.) When it […] - [Happiness is a serious problem](https://wyatttorosian.com/happiness-is-a-serious-problem-2/): Not accustomed to happiness, and I’ve probably covered this topic before. But like a car that’s gotten used to running on regular gas, I’m used to running on a shitstorm of horrible. It drives me – problem solving, having to work your way out of a tight jam, those last minute Hail Marys. However, I’ve fallen into a situation I’m totally unprepared for – happiness. There are no fires to put out. And it scares the shit out of me. What exactly is my identity? My sense of self is forged in saving things, people, situations – throwing someone under […] - [Happiness is a serious problem](https://wyatttorosian.com/happiness-is-a-serious-problem/): Not accustomed to happiness, and I’ve probably covered this topic before. But like a car that’s gotten used to running on regular gas, I’m used to running on a shitstorm of horrible. It drives me – problem solving, having to work your way out of a tight jam, those last minute Hail Marys. However, I’ve fallen into a situation I’m totally unprepared for – happiness. There are no fires to put out. And it scares the shit out of me. What exactly is my identity? My sense of self is forged in saving things, people, situations – throwing someone under […] - [Writer’s Block: brought to you by fear!](https://wyatttorosian.com/writers-block-brought-to-you-by-fear/): I may have talked about it before (I think? Hell if I know) about writer’s block, and the best way to overcome it being incrementalism (complete one small task, and then pick up on that momentum). But what *is* writer’s block, or analysis paralysis, exactly? And why does it feel like the creative version of trying to digest two Chipotle burritos, I had a BOGO coupon and I don’t need your fucking judgment, Linda. Writer’s block manifests itself to me not just with writing, but life in general. It’s when I’m left to make a decision, one where I either […] - [Winter Spring Cleaning](https://wyatttorosian.com/winter-spring-cleaning/): I don’t throw things away. It always surprises people when I find a postcard they wrote me 5 years ago or a picture from college. I really don’t get rid of anything. And unfortunately that extends to clothing. As someone who’s perpetually deal-obsessed and has always been surrounded by people who love accumulating clothes, I’ve found I’ve hoarded a regional distribution center’s worth of clothing. *extended soliloquy about using clothing to sublimate years of stifled sexuality and identity issues something something okay good the boring part’s over* The result is way too many Abercrombie polos, flannel shirts, tanktops, heavy jackets […] - [Panic at the Discount](https://wyatttorosian.com/panic-at-the-discount/): Just got off the phone with my mother and weaponized her intellect towards choosing gifts. “I have no idea what these people want,” I pleaded. “Everyone likes cologne,” she proffered. Every year around this time I have what my dear friend Maggie and I like to call, “Panic at the Discount”. It comes from a few years back when, in a last minute spree of gift-giving, I had a panic attack in the housewares aisle of the Studio City Marshalls. I remember mental images of the dozen or so people I was getting gifts for flickering like my life flashing […] - [If you feel like a loser, people can think you’re a winner!](https://wyatttorosian.com/if-you-feel-like-a-loser-people-can-think-youre-a-winner/): Most people are actually two people – the person in private and the person in public. The person in private’s more candid, describes their fears and insecurities. It’s what we consider to be the actual person. The person in public is a combination of masks, bluster, hygiene – a projection of who people want to be. We’ve been taught this is best and good, and in some ways it is. You get the convenience of being considered to be whatever you want to be. If you feel like a loser, people can think you’re a winner! I admire those who […] - [To be taken care of](https://wyatttorosian.com/to-be-taken-care-of/): It’s a weird thing for me to admit, but I like being taken care of. Taking care of others is good too. There’s a certain joy and sense of duty in doing so. But there’s not a feeling of being complete. It’s depleting. You finish taking care of everyone else and you just kind of slump into emptiness. Of course, the pendulum swinging in the other direction is equally unsatisfying – being taken care of too much breeds restlessness and neediness. Finding a happy medium isn’t easy. I tend to land more on the taking care of others side of […] - [Gratitude List](https://wyatttorosian.com/gratitude-list/): I despise feel good claptrap like this. I read The Secret once in high school and I guess it helped me through the week I took 13 AP tests, because reading it was preferable to cramming my AP Bio text into a blender and consuming the contents orally. Still, I resented the fact that something like that could be so *easy*, and that people would ceaselessly share inspirational quotes from that damn book as if they were gospel. However, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts lately (Caucasian alert!) and the host (Joey Diaz) spoke about how he’d […] - [Nailbiter](https://wyatttorosian.com/nailbiter/): I stopped biting my nails because my boyfriend noticed. He wanted to understand why, and it was hard for me to explain. I don’t know where or why it started, but I’ve done it for as long as I remember. My mom offered me $100 once to stop. I stopped for 48 hours. I did not get the $100. A couple years ago I tried getting manicures, until I started grinding my teeth at the nail bed. In a fit of pique, I bit them all off. I don’t know why I do it. I think it’s a physical manifestation […] - [Why I Write](https://wyatttorosian.com/why-i-write/): I’m not particularly skilled at manual labor. I’m terrible at giving directions to people and vacillate between being dictatorial or mute. And behind a keyboard, I’m still not particularly skilled. I channel the unrelenting monologue in my head. It could be on any given topic and at any given time, and it simply is. Writing has helped me process both success and failure, and it scares me sometimes. I get intimidated that I’ll sound stupid, jumbled, that I’m not as good as I used to be. But I write because I have to, not because I want to. I’d go […] - [Kids see ghosts sometimes](https://wyatttorosian.com/kids-see-ghosts-sometimes/): I don’t know if I have a “why” for writing what I do. I’m not a writer and I actively resist being described as such. There are real writers, it is their craft and vocation. I scribble a few words together in notes and they’re generally complaints. So no, I’m not writer. What I try to do is channel a feeling, or moment, and usually because it’s intolerable for me to keep it bottled inside. Ideas are like bubbles on the surface of a simmering, particularly viscous soup. Some are small and nag at you, some are a mighty swell. […] - [Good enough](https://wyatttorosian.com/good-enough/): When I unpack my past relationships, I noticed a trend recently (okay, less than an hour ago) which I hadn’t noticed before, and that was not being good enough. I wasn’t good enough for my ex because I embarrassed him. I wasn’t good enough for another ex, because he downloaded Grindr to hook up with other people. And I wasn’t good enough for a third ex, because he was embarrassed to introduce me to his siblings. What does all this mean? It means I’ve been rejected for my looks, my mind, and who I am as a person. I was […] - [500 days ago](https://wyatttorosian.com/500-days-ago/): 500 Days Ago I was sitting in the front row of the G.L. Johnson Chapel at People’s Church trying to avert my gaze from the black piano wood box to the left of me. I felt my entire body slump into oblivion as I walked down that aisle and saw his face above the casket. How could someone’s entire life and existence be shoehorned into a 6×2 rectangle? He was always so morbid, always talked about being buried in a pine box. I hated when he talked about death but it probably prepared me for the inevitable. I wish it […] - [Six months ago](https://wyatttorosian.com/six-months-ago-2/): Six months ago I met a cute boy at a party. I couldn’t have been at a lower point that night. I’d just been dumped by my boyfriend of over a year and we’d ceased contact. I’d been on a string of meaningless hookups and a complete bender and I just missed coming home to my best friend. I’d gotten into an argument on the phone with my business partner on the way into this dingy looking warehouse party downtown. I just wanted to forget the horrible place I was in and was determined to numb with every substance possible. […] - [Six months ago](https://wyatttorosian.com/six-months-ago/): Six months ago I met a cute boy at a party. I couldn’t have been at a lower point that night. I’d just been dumped by my boyfriend of over a year and we’d ceased contact. I’d been on a string of meaningless hookups and a complete bender and I just missed coming home to my best friend. I’d gotten into an argument on the phone with my business partner on the way into this dingy looking warehouse party downtown. I just wanted to forget the horrible place I was in and was determined to numb with every substance possible. […] - [One year ago](https://wyatttorosian.com/one-year-ago/): A year ago I was enjoying a quiet evening on a patio with one of my best friends, a couple cousins, and assorted company. It was a local neighborhood place, the kind we’d been going to for years. We traded stories, and it had been a hell of a year already, losing my dad and all. But things were on the upswing again. A few hours later my best friend and I were in the back of an ambulance. I looked like Jackie Kennedy as LBJ was inaugurated hastily on the Dallas tarmac – harried, bloody. There was a flash […] - [Effing Up](https://wyatttorosian.com/effing-up/): “I’m gonna fuck it up!” I scream at myself, internally, not using my inside voice. There’s recurring thoughts and then there’s that blaring sentiment, skywritten through my consciousness every few minutes. Sometimes it’s sneaky. It creeps in and you wonder why you were happy and now you’re anxious. You can be hopping along to Lil Fentanyl or whatever you kids listen to and then you’re paranoid: “does everyone hate me?” It comes from nowhere and never quite leaves, like an enchilada fart when you had a sandwich for lunch. And now I’m sitting here, shaking my legs, and wondering just […] - [Effing Up](https://wyatttorosian.com/effing-up/): “I’m gonna fuck it up!” I scream at myself, internally, not using my inside voice. There’s recurring thoughts and then there’s that blaring sentiment, skywritten through my consciousness every few minutes. Sometimes it’s sneaky. It creeps in and you wonder why you were happy and now you’re anxious. You can be hopping along to Lil Fentanyl or whatever you kids listen to and then you’re paranoid: “does everyone hate me?” It comes from nowhere and never quite leaves, like an enchilada fart when you had a sandwich for lunch. And now I’m sitting here, shaking my legs, and wondering just […] - [“Hi again”](https://wyatttorosian.com/hi-again/): It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything of substance. I have notes written, dated, with titles, subjects, and phrases, but I’ve yet to bring myself to thread a needle through them and get them finished. They’ll get written eventually, I hope. So, as I sit here, crouching on the edge of the tub, it’s a good a time as any to pick this up. It’s been a weird week or so – at some point I got off my game a little, and November has felt like a sojourn between whirlwinds of attention, and even though none have been debilitating […] - [On Thousand Oaks](https://wyatttorosian.com/on-thousand-oaks/): No mother deserves to wake up to her child missing in the morning, the same as no mother deserves to see her child return from war unrecognizable. Thousand Oaks is a sleepy community full of retirees and peaceful suburban life. It did not deserve this. I’ve spent a great deal of time there. My best friend lived there and I was there every day for a good year in 2012. It’s a place where people wake up early, pay their taxes, drive their Buicks to Sprouts, and coexist with Los Angeles as if it’s thousands of miles away even though […] - [NAP HACK](https://wyatttorosian.com/nap-hack/): Folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I suck at naps. They always seem so enticing in the moment: just 10 minutes down, right? And I’ll be refreshed, recharged, and we can totally ignore the 8 cups of coffee this morning. It never happens that way. You awaken, three hours later, like you got into a fight with a wolverine: disheveled, sore, exhausted, confused. But folks, I found the secret to the PERFECT nap: Don’t take one on a day when you didn’t wake up on your own that morning. But what does that mean? If […] - [Waiting](https://wyatttorosian.com/waiting-2/): Historically, I’ve always been bad at waiting on/for things. I always thought of it as wasted time, and it’s a completely warped sense of reality when you arrive at 7:59 and someone comes at 8:05 versus waiting an hour and a half in a doctor’s office after checking in appear to be identical in terms of duration. I recently stopped being that person who follows up incessantly to make sure someone’s on time. They’re busy, I’m busy, it’s LA, there’s traffic, and I’m late more often than I’m early. Me transferring my anxiety attack onto someone else does nothing for […] - [Waiting](https://wyatttorosian.com/waiting/): Historically, I’ve always been bad at waiting on/for things. I always thought of it as wasted time, and it’s a completely warped sense of reality when you arrive at 7:59 and someone comes at 8:05 versus waiting an hour and a half in a doctor’s office after checking in appear to be identical in terms of duration. I recently stopped being that person who follows up incessantly to make sure someone’s on time. They’re busy, I’m busy, it’s LA, there’s traffic, and I’m late more often than I’m early. Me transferring my anxiety attack onto someone else does nothing for […] - [To-do](https://wyatttorosian.com/to-do/): I’m open about my sudden fondness for to-do lists, but it wasn’t always the case. Like as a kid, I loved the concept of to-do lists. And, as with most things, I took it too far. I’d put everything in my planner: take a shower. Get out of bed. Everything short of wiping my ass was itemized. And it became crippling, and a job within itself just to maintain those lists. I’d fall short of expectations, add things I already did just to cross them off, and eventually abandoned the whole thing altogether for years. The day my dad passed, […] - [The most pretentious Halloween costume ever](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-most-pretentious-halloween-costume-ever/): Bluesteel:2048 takes the viewer on a visual journey through fashion in the year 2048. In an era of nuclear war, climate change, and rapidly-developing technology, how will humanity adapt? Drawing inspiration from Alexander McQueen’s 2010 Plato’s Atlantis, as well as a 1980s-through-now conception of what the future is, Bluesteel:2048 is an homage to what the future could’ve been – and could be. Presenting: my most pretentious idea of all time. “Slutty Future”. - [Undeserving](https://wyatttorosian.com/undeserving/): What do I deserve? I think I have a weird tic for feeling like I don’t deserve things. It could be as simple as not buying the nice bread at Trader Joe’s and getting the cheapest one. Not picking out the best slice of pie. At times I’ve gone the complete opposite direction and overdone it. Whole bottle of wine? I *deserve* it. Going out when I have things to do? DESERVED. It’s an exhausting back and forth that doesn’t have a clear end or goal in mind, but speaks to all aspects of me. There’s a part of me […] - [Give a Damn](https://wyatttorosian.com/1352-2-2/): Caring about someone means compromise. It means having to sacrifice a portion of yourself because you believe in the other person. A portion of your energy goes into them. Your energy may be small. It may be insignificant in a larger sense. But to another person, it may mean the world. And you should hold onto it. You should embrace it, and wield it. It could make the difference. We all go through life with few people believing us and in us. To find someone who gives a shit, that’s really something. So believe in your friends. Tell them their […] - [Give a Damn](https://wyatttorosian.com/1352-2/): Caring about someone means compromise. It means having to sacrifice a portion of yourself because you believe in the other person. A portion of your energy goes into them. Your energy may be small. It may be insignificant in a larger sense. But to another person, it may mean the world. And you should hold onto it. You should embrace it, and wield it. It could make the difference. We all go through life with few people believing us and in us. To find someone who gives a shit, that’s really something. So believe in your friends. Tell them their […] - [Catching up to life](https://wyatttorosian.com/catching-up-to-life/): For much of the past two years, I’ve felt like I needed to catch up to life. Events just keep cascading and everything was a state of emergency. You could get a phone call that could change everything. And it did change everything. It changed me. I’ve become angrier and more pessimistic. More bitter, hardened. Anxious. Unfocused, exhausted. But the past few months have seen some changes. After hitting a wall enough times, I basically had to isolate myself and, for once, just stop everything. I told myself for years this wasn’t possible, I couldn’t just *stop* everything, life’s a […] - [The (Re)Cycling of Tragedy](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-recycling-of-tragedy/): Eleven people woke up this morning to go to Temple on the Sabbath. It was a normal Saturday. Parents had to corral their kids to get dressed, everyone had to be up early. There were probably kind words and a few arguments along the way. Hours later they were mowed down by an evil gunman. Thoughts, prayers, and takes spill forth from across the country and around the world. Some friends and family won’t learn of the news until sundown – it is the Sabbath after all. It doesn’t matter who the individual is. His name will be splashed across […] - [I didn’t get to say goodbye](https://wyatttorosian.com/i-didnt-get-to-say-goodbye/): The following was sent in a text tonight: The last time I saw him, 2 weeks before he died (never told anyone this before) I had to make sure he drank his kombucha and we watched westerns. he expressed surprise that the new tires for my BMW he told me to get were so expensive. he forgot that fact and I had to remind him, which allowed me to experience both parents at once suffer from short term memory loss. he’d yelled at me earlier in the day that I purchased tea tree oil Dr. Bronners soap (which as an […] - [Resentment](https://wyatttorosian.com/resentment/): It’s worse than anger, because it’s anger that you’ve allowed to sit for awhile. It’s anger you’ve given a platform to, anger that’s fermented like kombucha, anger that’s been given time to reside within you and take hold. Resentment is anger that we ultimately hold against our own selves. It forces us to be embarrassed at our own shortcomings in a totally unproductive and unfixable way. Anger and hate are important emotions. They are the engines for us to change and do better. They can right an unjust situation, force us to see clearly. Resentment is counterproductive, because that’s when […] - [Being you](https://wyatttorosian.com/being-you/): Being (don’t start a sentence with a gerund, IDIOT) authentically you is a weird, elusive concept. An axiomatic concept. A(n) (adjective) concept. God I hate my writing voice sometimes (always). I was having a conversation with a high school friend of mine (I mean, we went to high school together, I don’t have any friends currently in high school, that’d be strange) about putting yourself out there, or putting a version of yourself out there. I think I’ve always been good at putting a version of myself out there. As an only child whose interior world is vast yet outwardly […] - [The Feels](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-feels/): Letting myself feel things is something. For years and through traumas (I don’t like that word because I don’t think things I’ve experienced are traumatic necessarily but people have told me that’s what it is so whatever, let’s roll with it) it’s been easy to stop an emotion in its tracks before it becomes overwhelming. I mean I don’t know what I’ve been thinking is going to happen, like a giant sinkhole’s going to open up and swallow me whole, but “feeling” has always been limited, like there’s an emergency valve before I get too far down that road. Today […] - [To Be Anxious, To Decide](https://wyatttorosian.com/to-be-anxious-to-decide/): I don’t consider myself to be a particularly creative person. I can appreciate creative things and people more knowing that I probably can’t paint/act/sing/dance for shit. But one feature of creative people I acutely identify with is writer’s block – not when it comes to writing necessarily, but life in general. Sometimes you have a thousand things to do and accomplish none. The constant math of – “do I attend to this first?” or “can I cross this off the list?” becomes enough to overwhelm the system enough to lead to hour 3 of The Office clips on the couch. […] - [Beaming](https://wyatttorosian.com/beaming/): If yesterday was Björk’s Vulnicura, today is Björk’s Utopia. Long story short, I’m………… ……..happy. I’m not used to this feeling. Have you ever been so used to things going wrong that you get wildly uncomfortable when they go right? Like so right, in ways you couldn’t have imagined? I could start an examination of things I’ve done correctly but that buttressed to yesterday’s piece would leave us, where exactly? I’d rather embrace the things *going* right. People say to practice gratitude, which is just so strange to me. When your identity is forged by your ability to put out fires, […] - [Day One](https://wyatttorosian.com/day-one/): Day One. I think the most difficult realization of the past few years was that I did everything wrong the first time. I’m not a writer, and I don’t think that what I write is particularly good. It may seem like false modesty, but my writing voice is indistinguishable from my thinking voice. It’s a stream of consciousness. When I look back at things from a few years ago, it’s pretty cringe. That’s not much of a surprise because I was pretty cringe then too. I don’t look at pictures from high school, and I certainly don’t read what I […] - [Born on the Fourth of July](https://wyatttorosian.com/born-on-the-fourth-of-july/): 4th of July, 2017 was a splendid day. My boyfriend and I went to the top of the US Bank building in Downtown LA – the tallest view in the West Coast. We dressed up in red, white, and blue formal attire. Over a gin Vesper I looked below as the fireworks of Dodger Stadium popped. I felt like Leo in the Titanic, the king of the world, and everything was looking up. It was an American Dream: good health, a wonderful family, an adorable boyfriend I lived with, a job that paid well and was fulfilling. Making America Great […] - [The fire that never stops burning](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-fire-that-never-stops-burning/): I always scan Twitter trending topics every morning as a ritual.  It makes me feel connected to whatever is happening as it happens.  I don’t know why I do it.  What am I going to do about some major news story?  What impact do I have?  What am I gonna do, phone the governor and offer assistance? ahh hell, not that ginger kid again I guess it’s a leftover from being a kid and waking up to my mom telling me about a plane hitting the World Trade Center and adjusting to that reality, thinking of how it was probably […] - [The Informal Evil of Parking Enforcement](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-informal-evil-of-parking-enforcement/): There are two things a Los Angeles resident fears above all else: melanoma and parking enforcement. Earthquakes are a distant third, distant solely because it’s hard to live in perpetual fear of something that can happen at any time without warning but hasn’t for decades. As I walked down the street, bleary eyed, to move my car on this permit-restricted street this Friday morning, I saw the glaring, pitbull-like face of the parking enforcement officer’s chariot, a mini Toyota Prius. Never has something so silent triggered so much fear. I watched the clock on my dash turn over to “9:00” […] - [I'm in the worst relationship right now](https://wyatttorosian.com/im-in-the-worst-relationship-right-now/): People ask me why I don’t write more and it’s usually because I don’t have the time or the inspiration but I guess those are both just excuses. I’m basically my own therapist and get out my anger in memes now. All the voices in my head are in agreement that it’s a good choice, except Chad – he’s a dick. way to go chad, you drained a lake Some things are so terrible, though, you just have to write. This is one of those times. I had the Trader Joe’s “Sushi Sensations” platter today. Mind you – not the […] - [The only resolution worth making](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-only-resolution-worth-making/): Happy New Year’s everyone, I have a feeling most of our nights turned out the same. Fans of this site *camera cuts to a solitary hobo jerking it in the back of a Carl’s Jr* will remember that three years ago I wrote a post about New Year’s resolutions. It was ok. But it’s 2017, Trump’s gonna be President, and I’ve learned a lot over the past three years. he’s just so damn lovable Upon reflection, I’ve noticed that I don’t remember much of the past year. January 2016 seems simultaneously like it was yesterday and 30 years ago. I […] - [Netflix secretly sucks and you know it](https://wyatttorosian.com/netflix-secretly-sucks-and-you-know-it-2/): It’s the year 2016, and we’ve all given our souls over to the all-encompassing media deity (mediety) ((Madeaty, starring Tyler Perry, coming to a theatre near you this Easter)) known as Netflix. no one asked for this Who knew that the hokey mail-order DVD company would take over our lives in such a powerful way? It would be like Waffle House becoming the next Starbucks. almond milk? almonds aint got no titties b*tch We don’t watch network TV anymore, we watch Netflix Originals. We don’t go to movie theaters anymore, we see what’s on Netflix. We don’t go on dates […] - [Netflix secretly sucks and you know it](https://wyatttorosian.com/netflix-secretly-sucks-and-you-know-it/): It’s the year 2016, and we’ve all given our souls over to the all-encompassing media deity (mediety) ((Madeaty, starring Tyler Perry, coming to a theatre near you this Easter)) known as Netflix. no one asked for this Who knew that the hokey mail-order DVD company would take over our lives in such a powerful way? It would be like Waffle House becoming the next Starbucks. almond milk? almonds aint got no titties b*tch We don’t watch network TV anymore, we watch Netflix Originals. We don’t go to movie theaters anymore, we see what’s on Netflix. We don’t go on dates […] - [How people telling me to kill myself got me banned from Facebook](https://wyatttorosian.com/how-people-telling-me-to-kill-myself-got-me-banned-from-facebook/): If you haven’t read my hit post titled: Charity, Brought to you by Facebook! from yesterday then here’s your chance. Ok, all caught up?  Good. A few breezy, late-breaking developments: 1) I was banned from Facebook (for a full 24 hours!) for calling someone a “bully”. Before I even wrote my post above, I explained how real bullies brag about their humble, HUMBLE charity donations to make you feel crappy about yourself (text below). Apparently Facebook finds that offensive and has put me in a grown-up time-out, because that’s the world we live in now. Of course it’s self-reported. Facebook doesn’t monitor profiles for […] - [Charity: Brought to you by Facebook!](https://wyatttorosian.com/charity-brought-to-you-by-facebook/): There’s an old-timey saying I just invented that says “the only people who should know about your charity work are the IRS and your Maker”. Which makes it all the more gauche that recently, Mark Zuckerberg announced he was donating 99% of his income to charity because he had a kid, or something like that. i’m sure if this was a gif, you’d see his left hand pumping up and down Most people with kids will tell you that once they “pop out a unit” the last expense they want to worry about is charity. But then again, most people with […] - [The paradox of free speech](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-paradox-of-free-speech/): As a culture we’re approaching a point (with increasing speed) where more speech is actually leading to a worsening of society. There is little delineating anymore between thought and speech. Nothing is off limits, nothing is left better off unsaid. Self-censorship is at an all time low. Unfortunately the florid prose of centuries past has given way to a coarsening of what comes out of our mouths. If there are no guardians at the gates, what’s the point of having gates at all? More speech leads to louder speech and louder speech leads to only the most simplistic, worst things […] - [Can we get this election over with?](https://wyatttorosian.com/can-we-get-this-election-over-with/): I’m already bored with the 2016 election and it’s not even 2016 yet. The only thing making it semiexciting is Trump. At least he has a sense of humor unlike the rest of these buffoons. i will never not love this How do we keep putting these smarmy, harping scolds up there? Rand Paul consistently looks seconds away from shi**ing his pants. after the campaign, he can do infomercials.  “this toilet paper is the GOLD standard” Carly Fiorina is, without a doubt, the “can I speak to the manager?” lady. “what do you mean the chowder in bread bowl isn’t […] - [In the future, we can download emotions](https://wyatttorosian.com/in-the-future-we-can-download-emotions-2/): It’s hard for me to speak the truth sometimes to people I love. In a way, it’s easier to tell it to complete strangers. For some reason they just seem more forgiving – they don’t know the experiences you’ve been through (which usually would engender some sort of sympathy I guess?) but when you get rejected by complete strangers the rejection is, at the surface, less painful. It’s harder to get rejected by someone close to you. It’s harder still when you know you gave them every reason to reject you. We should commission stories from people who live through […] - [In the future, we can download emotions](https://wyatttorosian.com/in-the-future-we-can-download-emotions/): It’s hard for me to speak the truth sometimes to people I love. In a way, it’s easier to tell it to complete strangers. For some reason they just seem more forgiving – they don’t know the experiences you’ve been through (which usually would engender some sort of sympathy I guess?) but when you get rejected by complete strangers the rejection is, at the surface, less painful. It’s harder to get rejected by someone close to you. It’s harder still when you know you gave them every reason to reject you. We should commission stories from people who live through […] - [What to expect when you're expecting...anything](https://wyatttorosian.com/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-anything/): Sometimes you just feel so empty that you have to escape your body, look at yourself, and laugh at yourself for how empty you feel. “i enjoying mysekf by the lake, but then i remembered instances of regret in my life, and pain i have caused others” — @bakkooonn Expectations are a b*tch, aren’t they? You have expectations for how your life will go and they’ll never materialize. You have expectations for how relationships will turn out and you wind up in divorce court arguing over just how few of the wedding gifts you’ll get to enjoy in your studio […] - [You’re most intolerant of yourself](https://wyatttorosian.com/youre-most-intolerant-of-yourself/): I was talking to a friend of mine when she was saying that she couldn’t just “chill out”. Being too lazy to offer to come by and “Netflix and chill”, I realized that maybe I could talk through this one. this man is an american hero After asking her what’s wrong, she said she felt like a “slacker because I’m sick” and that it was “[keeping] her from bringing [her] A game which was the plan”. I don’t know what came over me, but I responded as follows: that’s ok you just have to respect the process I paused, not […] - [Analysis paralysis is gonna put me on dialysis](https://wyatttorosian.com/analysis-paralysis-is-gonna-put-me-on-dialysis/): People think analysis paralysis is the inability to make a decision. Too many options in front of you and you freeze up like a girl on a date when she hears your job title is “disruptor”. But that’s not how your brain works. Your brain is constantly making decisions, mostly without you knowing. Millions of tiny decisions every second — where to look, the frequency of your breathing, where to put your hand (not on my leg, your brain just screwed up big time). Actually, the problem is your brain is making too many decisions at once. Analysis paralysis is […] - [The Middle Class is un-American](https://wyatttorosian.com/the-middle-class-is-un-american/): I read an article today saying that the phrase “the middle class” was only mentioned 3 times in the last Republican debate that inexplicably took place in front of Air Force One, which would be like the Pope giving his address in Washington this week in front of a decommissioned former Popemobile. “can I catch a ride while the next guy’s on vacation?” Imagine doing a job interview while standing in front of your dad’s first car. Yes, it’s cool that the Reagan Library has the real Air Force One there. But you don’t see the President give a speech […] - [Is there anything more embarrassing than being lonely?](https://wyatttorosian.com/is-there-anything-more-embarrassing-than-being-lonely/): You sit there and swipe on your phone when you’re waiting for someone. It’s a public place. You don’t want to look like someone just standing there. You look like a predator for chrissakes, just standing there, leering at fellow human beings. This is why I’m never early anywhere. There’s nothing worse than watching the minutes pass while the person you’re waiting for isn’t there. What if they don’t show? Oh god, what if they don’t show and someone’s watching and you’re just standing there by yourself and you’re pacing by yourself, you’re waaaaaaiting on them, think of all the […] - [We will forget](https://wyatttorosian.com/we-will-forget/): On my previous WordPress, I wrote a small 9/11 tribute message that I’d refresh and repost every year: “Seven Years Later” Seven years later, and it still feels like yesterday. The images of that morning will be forever seared into our memories. Never has this generation seen such fear, such horror, such bravery, and such courage. We must remember both the good and the evil from that day. We must never forget that radical Islam attacked us on that day, and we must continue to fight the encroachment of such an evil ideology on all fronts. We must never forget […] - [Guess what? Your pursuit of experiences is ruining your life](https://wyatttorosian.com/guess-what-your-pursuit-of-experiences-is-ruining-your-life-2/): Millennials disgust me. I grit at them like a Clint Eastwood gif. Partially because I felt like one once. I know it’s hard to believe by my youthful, radiant complexion, but I *lived* through the 90s. I remember unfettered optimism. I remember Scholastic book fairs, drinking Squeez-its and watching Wishbone. note to future hooker: my likely fetishes start with the listed above. If you can flash me a few foil Pokemon cards I’ll tip you extra As tempting as it sounds, trying to create that now is making millennials absolutely miserable. Why? The number one life value of the millennial […] - [Guess what? Your pursuit of experiences is ruining your life](https://wyatttorosian.com/guess-what-your-pursuit-of-experiences-is-ruining-your-life/): Millennials disgust me. I grit at them like a Clint Eastwood gif. Partially because I felt like one once. I know it’s hard to believe by my youthful, radiant complexion, but I *lived* through the 90s. I remember unfettered optimism. I remember Scholastic book fairs, drinking Squeez-its and watching Wishbone. note to future hooker: my likely fetishes start with the listed above. If you can flash me a few foil Pokemon cards I’ll tip you extra As tempting as it sounds, trying to create that now is making millennials absolutely miserable. Why? The number one life value of the millennial […] - [Republican Debate One - Liveblog](https://wyatttorosian.com/republican-debate-one-liveblog/): It’s time for a presidential debate! *sigh* Why is 2015 here already? Wasn’t it just 2012? Why do we have to do this crap all over again? I used to like debates.  I used to like the fact that we could watch people actually go in-depth with issues and maybe, MAYBE…learn something. But that doesn’t happen anymore. It’s a couple of talking points and some boasts here in there and then we all have to sit around and pretend like we like this people better or worse based on their ability to bark out answers like dogs. Dystopia aside, here’s […] - [I watched a man get shot by police and die](https://wyatttorosian.com/i-watched-a-man-get-shot-and-die/): It’s one of those things you don’t really think will ever happen. You don’t expect to see a crazy person with a gun. You hear about it on the news or read about it on Buzzfeed (“12 Ways Your Monday Could Be Worse!”) but it’s never one of those things you think “oh, ya, today’s the day when something weird that I never forget is gonna go down”. Today was one of those days. It’s a Friday, and I was proud of myself for being relatively productive, or at least getting up early enough to get enough done (which doesn’t […] - [Shame works! Here's how](https://wyatttorosian.com/shame-works-heres-how/): Let’s face it – we’re moving towards a society that seems to be forgoing manners. Before I go full church lady on you, here’s an example: dogs at Starbucks. It used to be on the odd occasion you’d see a clearly blind gentleman with a German Shepherd in a highlighter-bright vest that said “SERVICE ANIMAL” and you’d understand. This was an animal trained specifically for this purpose – to be this man’s eyes. It was also trained to function in crowds and be generally pleasant and well-behaved. But now you can get an official-looking “SERVICE ANIMAL” vest on eBay and […] ## Pages - [Wyatt.Today](https://wyatttorosian.com/today/) - [Contact](https://wyatttorosian.com/contact/): Email: wyatttorosian@gmail.com For professional inquiries. Pro-fess-ion-al. I swear to God if I get ONE more invite to some ratchet-ass motel to strip for a bunch of drunk bachelorettes/Crohn’s support group.. - [About Me](https://wyatttorosian.com/about-me/): Dream realizer Microbe employer Extreme homemaker Anna Nicole Smith slurring “freakin’ genius” on a loop CIA name: Hedy Lamarr Odom Spontaneousizer Student STUDent StuDENt Carrozzeria Compulsive burrata consumer Capable pineapple corer Smartypants Partysmants Visionary Revisionary Writer Actor Model Actress Mattress TempurPedic™ Mattress Logical punctuator Oxford comma defender Carer about humanity Nihilist Atlas Shrugged once, but it was a muscle spasm Breaker of glass ceilings Breaker of stained glass ceilings Breaker of lots of things Interventionist Non-non-interventionist Intervener (certified by Panamerican Association of Intervening Nihilists) Tall Tired of craning my neck to enter airplanes Still shorter than that weird tall guy who […] - [Buy on Amazon](https://wyatttorosian.com/amazon/): Look, I know you all buy stuff on Amazon. Stuff like toilet paper, doggy treats, kazoos, photos of a young Mamie Eisenhower, bras, panties, manties, coconut water, ZICO™ Coconut Water, really small Philips head screwdrivers to open the back of your damn MacBook, grass-fed butter, grass fertilizer, fertility treatments, Hot Wheels™, Hot Pockets™, Icy™Hot™, HDMI cables, a Kindle, kindling, crackers, crackas, cracked wheat, buckwheat, wheatgrass, a bumper sticker that says “Your Ass is Grass”, and more. So if you’re gonna buy stuff on Amazon, which has Prime shipping and will ship things to your door before you can get off […] [comment]: # (Generated by Hostinger Tools Plugin)