A Missouri Democrat has proposed banning the wearing of seersucker suits for anyone over the age of 8 by adding an amendment to a tuition bill.
Missouri state Sen. Ryan McKenna feels so strongly against the seersucker suit that he has proposed a statewide ban on them for people over the age of eight.
“Any person living in this state aged 8 and under may wear seersucker suits at their leisure. Any person over the age of 8 living in this state may not wear seersucker suits because adults look ridiculous in seersucker suits,” the (handwritten) amendment to a higher education bill reads, according to the River Front Times.
First of all, this guy should just be impeached, fired, or, well, caned out of office for saying stupid shit. I’m sorry (I’m not sorry), but if you’re going to waste public time with your stupid shit, pack your stress balls and family photos and get the fuck out of office. You’re a disgrace.
“I will not be bullied by the seersucker caucus,” McKenna told the Times. ”They are getting stronger by the week with their bullying tactics.”
These are members of the real Senate (not some weak-ass Missouri Senate) wearing seersucker and they look badass.
I hope this guy is actually bullied. Like, I hope we can find a van full of bullies from local Missouri high schools to go to this guy’s house and give him wedgies and wet willies and call his masculinity into question and trip him and shit. And I hope a local Men’s Wearhouse will sponsor with free seersucker suits for the bullies to wear. Who knows, maybe this dude was diddled by a man wearing a seersucker suit, and even if he wasn’t, it sounds like he needs to be.
Second of all, I’m a fan of seersucker (you’ll see why), but that does not color my answer above. If he proposed the banning of tweed (which I dislike strongly) I would have the same reaction.
I’m a fan because I have a pair of seersucker shorts I wear everyfuckingwhere because they breathe and don’t wrinkle and are as comfortable as fuck.
Consider this my Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (except it’s Mr. Torosian Goes to Jefferson City, not quite as catchy).
