fap-happy memories…
I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty tired of all the Lohan Hate out there.
Call this what you will. Call this my “Leave Britney Alone!” moment. Actually don’t call it that, because you’re wrong. I’m not crying on my pillow in frustration with running mascara talking about a celebrity with substance abuse issues.
I wear waterproof mascara.
First things first: yes, Lindsay Lohan has been a mess. It finally seems like she’s getting her head on straight, but I’ve said that before and been wrong, so who knows.
Second, she’s not the world’s best actress. Every character is just her, with a slightly different voice. Even when she played her British twin in The Parent Trap.
Third, she’s not the smartest person in the world. Driving with an open container isn’t smart.
But she’s tough. She’s tough and we should admire her for being tough with that fucked up cast of characters she has to unfortunately call a family. Her upbringing sounded awful, and the worst part is that neither of her parents have ever repented or improved or made things right—they’ve only gotten worse as time goes on and continue to affect her life. There’s lots of fucked up people out there with fucked up parents who continue to bother them even after they grow up and leave the house. I can’t think of another situation where it’s splashed across TV and communication is done by press release or TMZ camera.
She’s also interesting, like a shiny object, and worth examination. And she gets lots of shit she doesn’t deserve. For every photo of her stumbling out of a club all turnt up, there are 10 similar photos of other celebrities not published because it’s not as headline grabbing. Why does Demi Lovato get a pass for the same exact trajectory of enormous ups and downs and secret rehab stays (“oh, she’s got mental health issues, look at her recover!”) versus Lindsay (“back off the wagon again, trainwreck!”)
It doesn’t look like she really has any stable force. Britney got better due to a conservatorship. Paris Hilton had a supportive family and business acumen. Lindsay has none of that, just enablers and hangers-on, and she’s paranoid, and rightfully so.
Critics are fools. Watching Tom Brokaw discuss her debasing the White House Correspondent’s Dinner with her mere presence is an unwarranted potshot. He appreciated the original SNL cast members there, even though they got into far more drugs and booze than she did at that time. He ignores Kim Kardashian being there and focuses on her, making this all the more meta: the more you address the press beast, the more it feeds, and the larger it grows. Which is great, because it adds more entertainment for everyone, and as long as Lindsay is riding the wave, then more power to her. Clean up, focus, and keep stringing em along.
