Look, I know you all buy stuff on Amazon.
Stuff like toilet paper, doggy treats, kazoos, photos of a young Mamie Eisenhower, bras, panties, manties, coconut water, ZICO™ Coconut Water, really small Philips head screwdrivers to open the back of your damn MacBook, grass-fed butter, grass fertilizer, fertility treatments, Hot Wheels™, Hot Pockets™, Icy™Hot™, HDMI cables, a Kindle, kindling, crackers, crackas, cracked wheat, buckwheat, wheatgrass, a bumper sticker that says “Your Ass is Grass”, and more.
So if you’re gonna buy stuff on Amazon, which has Prime shipping and will ship things to your door before you can get off your lazy but-tocks (in Forrest Gump voice) and behind the wheel of your late-model Zamboni to slither to the store, click instead.
And magic will happen! And your eBooks will dance across the page! And your life will improve tremendously! And I will be happy!
And that’s all that matters.