I used to do this all the time and I still kind of do and I believe it’s more of a West Coast thing.
When something’s off, or unusual, I always say it’s “scary”.
Oh, your insurance premiums are going up? That’s just “scary”.
Your dog came down with typhoid? So “scary”…
Your house was broken into by the Bling Ring and they stole nothing because you’re a broke-ass b*tch?
“SCARY”.
But what does that mean?
Life can’t be filled with that much unrelenting fear.
You can’t be “so scared” all the time.
Most importantly–there’s a difference between *being* scared and *feeling* scared.
Feeling scared is a normal human emotion.
One of my favorite moments on Family Guy is in the episode where they make fun of the South:
Hi, uh, excuse me, you guys. Yeah, I’m here to pick up my son, Chris Griffin. Uh, he’s here to finger the guy who held up that convenience store. M-maybe you’ve seen him, his name is Chris Griffin. Oh, wait a second, y’know, I think I got a picture of him, somewhere…h-here you go. [gives the picture to the one who robbed the store] Yeah, you can go ahead and hang on to that, I got a ton of ’em at home. In fact, I was gonna throw that one out anyway ’cause Chris messed it up by writing his school schedule and a list of his fears all over the back of it.
We all have a list of fears, whether it’s something as innocuous as spiders or complex as commitment.
And let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than an arachnophobe that can’t commit! *takes drag off Virginia Slim*
You feel a lot of things that aren’t real.
You can feel nauseous on a car ride, but that doesn’t mean that your body is ready to undergo a dramatic explosion of brain matter.
You can feel full after Souplantation (if you don’t, you’re not American and didn’t get your money’s worth) but that doesn’t mean your stomach will burst, Alien-style, with focaccia.
And you can feel horny without tackling and furiously humping the senior citizen cocktail waitress with the wooden leg and holiday-themed press-on nails.
When your feeling enters a state of “being”–you’re doing something wrong.
Nobody wants to go on a trip with the person who wails about their nausea and wears it like a uniquely pathetic badge of honor.
Nobody wants to eat a meal with the person who unendingly b*tches afterwards about eating that last zucchini muffin.
And nobody wants to be around the person whose old-fashioned glass you have to monitor for fear they’ll titgrab the hostess.
This applies to all emotions.
Are you angry?
Jealous?
Sad?
Or are you an angry person?
A jealous person?
A sad person?
Or a scared person?
If you can’t tell the difference–find someone whose opinion you trust who will tell you *the* truth (not the truth you want to hear) and ask them.
You’ll likely be surprised.
What you see as that one incidence of anger or fear has likely been an aspect of your personality that you haven’t noticed.
And know that you know this–do you want to be that person?
An angry person?
A jealous person?
A sad person?
Or a scared person?
That judgment is up to you.
But the fact that you’re curious enough to reach the point where you can make that judgment shows you have demonstrated the initial willingness to change.
It’s the first step.
It’s the hardest step.
There will be hard steps down the road, mind you.
Changing is both the hardest thing you can do in terms of sheer will and the easiest thing you can do in terms of obstruction (really, there’s nothing that stops you from changing, ever).
Maybe it will be worth it.
Are you happy where you’re at now?
If you’re not, stop being scared.
Feel scared.
And change.
