I’m getting a little nostalgic for the days when everyone hated Bush. I don’t mean merely disliked. I mean hated. Like when the Chicks with Dicks or whatever they’re called slammed him on a London stage. (Courage!) The running argument was always that Bush was an idiot. Also that he was a powerhungry mastermind. Well,…

If you went to someone in 1992 and told them that the daughter of the Achy Breaky Heart singer would cause more controversy than a war or a government shutdown, you would’ve been burned as a heretic, and rightfully so. But lo, it was a simpler time, and we should’ve known that any man who…

*scroll down for hot updates.  I would put them here but if you didn’t read the story yet then it’s a spoiler alert.  P.S. Walter White dies* You know what you don’t hear anymore? “Write your Congressman!” It was always about oil drilling or war bonds or some similarly meaningless issue. Apparently the Capitol consisted of a…

*scroll down for hot updates.  I would put them here but if you didn’t read the story yet then it’s a spoiler alert.  P.S. Walter White dies* You know what you don’t hear anymore? “Write your Congressman!” It was always about oil drilling or war bonds or some similarly meaningless issue. Apparently the Capitol consisted of a…

I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this, I made weird noises of delight. I did notice one thing wrong, however—apparently, the Cash4Gold rep refers to Carol and Tracy as “telemarketer’s”. Hmmm. Could it be possible? Could the petition for an “ungreased, backdoor, Hammertime lovemaking session” all be a hoax? Unfortunately, it is, and…

I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this, I made weird noises of delight. I did notice one thing wrong, however—apparently, the Cash4Gold rep refers to Carol and Tracy as “telemarketer’s”. Hmmm. Could it be possible? Could the petition for an “ungreased, backdoor, Hammertime lovemaking session” all be a hoax? Unfortunately, it is, and…

By now, you’ve probably heard the breathless meme: Kern County Animal Shelter is shutting down and euthanizing all 700 animals. In fact, they’re killing every animal in a three mile radius. No creature with four legs will be spared, and they will likely shoot the secretary at the front too, along with any passersby and…

I shall henceforth be called “Ambassador Torosian” by you poor fiefs. What are you ambassador of, you say? Why, you didn’t see my nomination and acceptance speech on CNN? It’s ok.  Nobody watches CNN. It just so happens to be that I’m an ambassador of… Santa Monica. That’s right. The City of Santa Monica has…

I was in the middle of getting some work done this afternoon when I started tearing up out of the blue. I was alarmed. Did some bastard sneak in and slide a bowl of onions under my face? Is that ill-advised Botox™ leaking? Am I finally having an allergic reaction to the twerking epidemic? By…

A Facebook group I monitor occasionally got into an enhanced Fujitsu Five shitstorm over the inclusion of a new atheist chaplain in the military. My notifications were blowing up and it had nothing to do with me, which is absolutely unacceptable. So, I read diligently through all the comments (I read two, got bored, flipped…