As you folks probably know, I’m a huge fan of Starbucks. Well, the Pike’s coffee tastes like it was filtered through a wrestler’s jock, so—excluding that. Hell, I’m a gold card member (bitches!!!) which means absolutely nothing other than that it’s probably the lowest barrier-to-entry metallic card you can get. I’ve noticed over the past…

Let’s just start by getting this out of the way: my 6th grade teacher was leaps and bounds cooler than yours. Imagine a dude who was around 6’4″-6’5″.  Easily pushing past 300lbs.  Voice deep enough to make Barry White shudder. That was Mr. Cohagan, or Mr. C as he was affectionately known. He was the…

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty fucking STOKED Amanda Bynes is back in LA. The worst thing she did here was just drive around aimlessly and get tickets (the official LA pastime). In New York there was the broken bong vase, the arrest, the Drake tweets, her vagina getting slapped (not in…

“Old Arab” Helen Thomas is dead at the spry age of 92, likely under suspicious circumstances. Between this and the Glee kid, who’ll be the third celebrity to drop? *crosses fingers for a member of Menudo* She was the first female member of the White House Press Corps, mostly because they just couldn’t get her…

I used to hate running. Hatehatehate it. They always made us run the mile. Fuck that shit. When in life are you ever going to have to run a mile? If you’re being chased by a robber, you think he’s gonna stop and keel over after just a mile? Well, if you rob a Waffle…

I used to hate running. Hatehatehate it. They always made us run the mile. Fuck that shit. When in life are you ever going to have to run a mile? If you’re being chased by a robber, you think he’s gonna stop and keel over after just a mile? Well, if you rob a Waffle…

Growing up *rocking chair creaks back and forth* I remember when Gatorade used to be a sports drink. You played football in 100-degree weather, and then drank Gatorade for your electrolytes. After 9 holes of golf, Gatorade was a treat to get you through the other 9. Gatorade kept the sauna-dryness of the tennis court…

Is there a protocol for addressing an old hookup in public? Do you smile? Divert your gaze? Throw your hands up and flail while staring them directly in the eyes? It depends on the regret you feel now. For girls, there’s a 99% chance she regrets hooking up with you (even if she initiated it…

Starbucks in LA is basically the caffeinated modern marketplace. Rich, poor, young, old, black, white, straight, gay, every kind of person you can imagine goes to Starbucks. You see it all: the homeless guy still asleep on the outdoor patio furniture, the old lady tutor puffing the e-cigarette, students working on last-minute projects, Kimora Lee…

Starbucks in LA is basically the caffeinated modern marketplace. Rich, poor, young, old, black, white, straight, gay, every kind of person you can imagine goes to Starbucks. You see it all: the homeless guy still asleep on the outdoor patio furniture, the old lady tutor puffing the e-cigarette, students working on last-minute projects, Kimora Lee…