500 Days Ago I was sitting in the front row of the G.L. Johnson Chapel at People’s Church trying to avert my gaze from the black piano wood box to the left of me. I felt my entire body slump into oblivion as I walked down that aisle and saw his face above the casket.…

Six months ago I met a cute boy at a party. I couldn’t have been at a lower point that night. I’d just been dumped by my boyfriend of over a year and we’d ceased contact. I’d been on a string of meaningless hookups and a complete bender and I just missed coming home to…

Six months ago I met a cute boy at a party. I couldn’t have been at a lower point that night. I’d just been dumped by my boyfriend of over a year and we’d ceased contact. I’d been on a string of meaningless hookups and a complete bender and I just missed coming home to…

A year ago I was enjoying a quiet evening on a patio with one of my best friends, a couple cousins, and assorted company. It was a local neighborhood place, the kind we’d been going to for years. We traded stories, and it had been a hell of a year already, losing my dad and…

“I’m gonna fuck it up!” I scream at myself, internally, not using my inside voice. There’s recurring thoughts and then there’s that blaring sentiment, skywritten through my consciousness every few minutes. Sometimes it’s sneaky. It creeps in and you wonder why you were happy and now you’re anxious. You can be hopping along to Lil…

“I’m gonna fuck it up!” I scream at myself, internally, not using my inside voice. There’s recurring thoughts and then there’s that blaring sentiment, skywritten through my consciousness every few minutes. Sometimes it’s sneaky. It creeps in and you wonder why you were happy and now you’re anxious. You can be hopping along to Lil…

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything of substance. I have notes written, dated, with titles, subjects, and phrases, but I’ve yet to bring myself to thread a needle through them and get them finished. They’ll get written eventually, I hope. So, as I sit here, crouching on the edge of the tub, it’s a…

No mother deserves to wake up to her child missing in the morning, the same as no mother deserves to see her child return from war unrecognizable. Thousand Oaks is a sleepy community full of retirees and peaceful suburban life. It did not deserve this. I’ve spent a great deal of time there. My best…

Folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I suck at naps. They always seem so enticing in the moment: just 10 minutes down, right? And I’ll be refreshed, recharged, and we can totally ignore the 8 cups of coffee this morning. It never happens that way. You awaken, three hours later,…

Historically, I’ve always been bad at waiting on/for things. I always thought of it as wasted time, and it’s a completely warped sense of reality when you arrive at 7:59 and someone comes at 8:05 versus waiting an hour and a half in a doctor’s office after checking in appear to be identical in terms…