Well folks, it happened.
I had my first Lindsay Lohan moment.
No, I didn’t rear end anyone with my car (already did that) or steal jewelry (shh) but I unwittingly did something worse—a repeat of the panic moment when Lindsay Lohan was presumed dead in a Marina del Rey Ritz-Carlton hotel room, but emerged moments later.
Flash forward. Friday morning, 1030 AM.
I hear a banging at my door. I wake up, sweaty and bleary-eyed, hearing someone yelling in a thick female Russian accent, “ARE YOU OKAY?! CALL YOUR DAD ON YOUR PHONE!”
Through my contact-free eyes I can make out the figure of my landlady and an unidentified gentleman, who proceeded to slam the door shut and storm out.
Admittedly, it was late in the morning for me to not hear from my dad. So I looked down at my phone to find that…I hadn’t received any calls…and it was stuck on the software-update screen.
Fuck.
Let’s rewind a little bit.
Friday morning, 2:30 AM. I wake up having fallen asleep about an hour and a half earlier, sweaty and dehydrated. I stumble over to the kitchen and guzzle some water, take out my contacts and lay back in my sweat-covered bed.
I can’t sleep. Especially not in this.
So I decide to get some work done, maybe do some writing. I frustratedly (and still-sweatedly) worked through work stuff and articles and it was about 4:45 AM.
“I have to get to sleep now, or I won’t wake up in the morning,” I thought. I felt good, however, that my Friday would be easy and calm considering I got most of the stuff I needed to do done.
Before I fell asleep I realized I might as well update my devices to the new iOS 6. I had spent the day getting my computer up to speed on neglected software updates (sorry MacBook!) and it was time to get everyone on the same page.
So I set both to download, saw that the iPad finished first, had enough time to play with Siri for the first time before I fell asleep after 5 AM, knowing my iPhone would update and restart itself.
What I didn’t realize was that it would open up to the iOS 6 screen, which would ask me to confirm terms&conditions, Siri, other settings, and THEN allow me to receive and make calls.
Whoops.
After a few failed calls, my dad apparently called one roommate at 830AM who was on a plane and the other soon after, and then called the landlady, who busted my door open to find me…asleep. He panicked and thought I had a heartattack or ODed or something, when in reality I was just exhausted, dehydrated, asleep, and had a phone in the charger that wouldn’t receive any damn calls.
Luckily, nobody called the paramedics, because the scene would’ve been even more awkward. Yes, I was naked under the sheets, and yes it was one of the first thoughts that ran through my mind as the landlady stood there.
I called my dad after she left and explained the situation, claiming that it was a phone issue (I would’ve gone into detail but he wouldn’t have understood). Coincidentally, that Friday was the day of the iPhone 5 release, and my (as far as he was concerned) non-functioning iPhone 4 was the perfect cover to go get a new one without hearing a save-your-damn-money lecture.
But that story is one for another day ☺