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“Rush” Delivery: Why FedEx Doesn’t Understand the Concept Friday afternoon. I’ve picked up a surprise gift for a very close friend. One of those things where they’ll open it and poop themselves in delight. One of the latest and greatest technologies that I absolutely need to get to them the morning after it comes out…
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Sorry Mr. President. I’m sorry I can’t “make a donation of $10 or more before midnight”. This economy, your economy, has left me with less disposable income than ever before. Your policies have made me, a working student, unavailable to afford a donation to your campaign. I’m fortunate to still have a job and…
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Candy Crowley is one of the few people named after their main source of nutrition: Second Debate Liveblog Yes, I got to a late start. I had to dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge through LA traffic to get home to watch this. Apologies for the three pedestrians I killed on the way—but hey, I…
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Like at least 7 other people, I went to see the first part of Atlas Shrugged in theatres. And despite years of hype that it would be an Angelina Jolie starred/directed/blessed production, the 2011 result was a salmagundi of gripping action, stilted dialogue, painful acting, and a discount Winona Ryder as Dagny Taggart. It’s hard…
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I jokingly thought to myself as I approached the 405 near the Getty that I was entering the Valley (of the Shadow of Death). Little did I know how possible that was. A simple trip to class turned into a waterslide adventure by sheer virtue of being on one side or the other of Sepulveda…
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“Some” may see my seething hatred for valets as illogical. “Some” can sexually experiment with ninja stars for all I care. But I feel it is my solemn duty (well, not really solemn, I’m writing and I’m loud as fuck) to share my first unpleasant valet story. Generally, I had sympathy for valets. They work…
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I’m distrustful of vehicle valets. I find it difficult to ensure any responsibility with someone so eager to abscond with my keys and my car in exchange for a ticket. That sounds like a terrible deal unless the ticket has winning lottery numbers. I was pulling into one of my favorite local chicken joints, Zankou…
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O’Hare: way too tired to observe. need water, food, rest —————- Man driving cart thru DFW has no horn on cart, says *beep beep*, earns himself a place in my heart —————– FYEAHFOXNEWSSTORE —————– Dad walks past lady with her child, stumbles slightly as her kid moves towards in his direction in hallway. Woman: really?…
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**NOTE: The following is the first in a two-part series about my trip to the Windy City. It actually wasn’t that windy, so whoever said that it was is full of crap.** UNIMAGINABLY EARLY HOUR, MY BEDROOM Bring: phone, wallet, ID, charging cords Leave home: pen shaped like hypodermic needle, mini Ak-47-shaped lighter, vitamins that…
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8PM, leaving the gym. Windows down, riding that wave of energy, that swoll. Track 9 on my CD: “Love You Like A Love Song” by Selena Gomez. There is no need to qualify why I listen to her or this song. It’s very good. That is all. Girl in Prius pulls up, rolls window down.…