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Candy Crowley is one of the few people named after their main source of nutrition: Second Debate Liveblog Yes, I got to a late start. I had to dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge through LA traffic to get home to watch this. Apologies for the three pedestrians I killed on the way—but hey, I…
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Like at least 7 other people, I went to see the first part of Atlas Shrugged in theatres. And despite years of hype that it would be an Angelina Jolie starred/directed/blessed production, the 2011 result was a salmagundi of gripping action, stilted dialogue, painful acting, and a discount Winona Ryder as Dagny Taggart. It’s hard…
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I jokingly thought to myself as I approached the 405 near the Getty that I was entering the Valley (of the Shadow of Death). Little did I know how possible that was. A simple trip to class turned into a waterslide adventure by sheer virtue of being on one side or the other of Sepulveda…
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“Some” may see my seething hatred for valets as illogical. “Some” can sexually experiment with ninja stars for all I care. But I feel it is my solemn duty (well, not really solemn, I’m writing and I’m loud as fuck) to share my first unpleasant valet story. Generally, I had sympathy for valets. They work…
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I’m distrustful of vehicle valets. I find it difficult to ensure any responsibility with someone so eager to abscond with my keys and my car in exchange for a ticket. That sounds like a terrible deal unless the ticket has winning lottery numbers. I was pulling into one of my favorite local chicken joints, Zankou…
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O’Hare: way too tired to observe. need water, food, rest —————- Man driving cart thru DFW has no horn on cart, says *beep beep*, earns himself a place in my heart —————– FYEAHFOXNEWSSTORE —————– Dad walks past lady with her child, stumbles slightly as her kid moves towards in his direction in hallway. Woman: really?…
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**NOTE: The following is the first in a two-part series about my trip to the Windy City. It actually wasn’t that windy, so whoever said that it was is full of crap.** UNIMAGINABLY EARLY HOUR, MY BEDROOM Bring: phone, wallet, ID, charging cords Leave home: pen shaped like hypodermic needle, mini Ak-47-shaped lighter, vitamins that…
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8PM, leaving the gym. Windows down, riding that wave of energy, that swoll. Track 9 on my CD: “Love You Like A Love Song” by Selena Gomez. There is no need to qualify why I listen to her or this song. It’s very good. That is all. Girl in Prius pulls up, rolls window down.…
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My teeth aren’t yellow. They’re just not as white as they could be. I get lazy. I don’t always brush. *audience recoils in horror* I also drink all the bad stuff: coffee, tea, sparkling beverages, red wine, more red wine, etc So my teeth have seen some shit (not literally, thank god) I happened to…
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R: That totally looks like the dude who was Roseanne’s boss W: Wait…that was Fred Thompson right? This doesn’t look like Fred Thompson. Hmmm…oh yeah! That’s right! This looks like dude with the glasses and the mustache! R: erm…yes…the dude with the glasses and mustache looks like…the dude with the glasses and the mustache.…