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  • 2012-09-23

    My Lindsay Lohan Moment

    Well folks, it happened. I had my first Lindsay Lohan moment. No, I didn’t rear end anyone with my car (already did that) or steal jewelry (shh) but I unwittingly did something worse—a repeat of the panic moment when Lindsay Lohan was presumed dead in a Marina del Rey Ritz-Carlton hotel room, but emerged moments…

  • 2012-09-22

    I am…Sir LUNCHALOT!

    I haven’t eaten alone in a restaurant since I was 12 and my parents left me at the table while they attended a party in the banquet room next door. That was when I knew I was a grown-up. Also, it was some scary shit. So if I have to eat alone, I generally get…

  • 2012-09-18

    How I Met Romney

    I love private planes and have been fortunate enough to fly twice on them. You drive up to the plane (LITERALLY up to the plane) and can just…walk…right…in. You shake the pilot’s hand, they ask if you’d like a drink, and you’re on your way. Hassle-and-molestation-free. So I don’t understand why celebrities and notables fly…

  • 2012-09-18

    How I Met Romney

    I love private planes and have been fortunate enough to fly twice on them. You drive up to the plane (LITERALLY up to the plane) and can just…walk…right…in. You shake the pilot’s hand, they ask if you’d like a drink, and you’re on your way. Hassle-and-molestation-free. So I don’t understand why celebrities and notables fly…

  • 2012-09-12

    I BUILT This…

      Just like America, I built this desk with sweat, determination, passion, and hard work. Mostly sweat. I didn’t ask for government help. I didn’t ask for a bailout. I toiled through pre-assembled parts in the Costco box, following directions in English, and twisting my Allen wrench to make sure each screw of the leg…

  • 2012-09-05

    The good old Seg-days

    I am proudly responsible for putting a Kardashian (Jenner) on a Segway. As a *Sales Associate* at Segway of Santa Monica in summer of 2011, my responsibility was to train new riders on the machines, give tours on the beach from Santa Monica down to Venice, sell machines, and repair current ones. I found the…

  • 2012-07-29

    Romney Spice

  • 2012-07-29

    Romney Spice

  • 2012-07-15

    WATCH: How to make an Aviation

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