Craig Mazin has probably the worst self-created resume of any man who isn’t Charles Manson: screenwriter of Scary Movie 3 and 4 and Hangover III.
He was also Senator Ted Cruz’s freshman year roommate at Princeton.
lookin sharp, kid
He had some not-so-nice shit to shovel about Sen. Cruz as a college kid earlier this year, revealing stunning facts: he wore a bathrobe! he talked to the ladies! he was on the debate team!
If everyone had a megaphone with which to talk about their freshman roommates, I’m sure they could find something to bitch about. I’ll bet even the guy who shared a bed (IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME OK) with young Illinois lawyer Abraham Lincoln would complain about Dutch ovens and forgetting to chop logs for the fire.
But now the clearly skilled screenwriter of modern classics like Citizen Kane Scary Movie 4 is back in the headlines with more revelations about Citizen Cruz:
When Ted Cruz was my roommate, he’d endlessly hit the snooze button. I asked him to stop. He wouldn’t. So I Krazy-glued it. #learnfromthis
Translation: I got catty because the alarm went off. Kitty has claws!
Two people locked in stony silence? One of whom had SERIOUS body odor issues? Who was the one who was not me? Okay. It’s your TV.
Ooh, cunty! If this douche told me I stank I’d shove an Axe can in his chakra.
I begged them for a different room or roommate. Begged. They didn’t understand then. They do now.
If I was then-freshman Cruz, I’d do the same with this psychopath sleeping a few feet away from me.
@clmazin you poor thing. You should win a Nobel Peace Prize for putting up with assclown Ted Cruz
@ihveanaddiction Not good enough. I deserve the Earth. All of it. Forty eleventy million billion trillion dollars. And a rocket ship.
Breaking news: liberal assclown whines that he deserves everything for being SUCH a special snowflake.
@clmazin Freshman year, did you ever think it would be Cruz who’d try to destroy America?
@isaactalks I was young and naive and thought voters weren’t complete brain dead.
Sen. Cruz, in your freshman year, did you ever think it would be Craig Mazin who’d try to destroy film?
Sen Cruz: “I was young and naïve and thought producers weren’t complete [sic] brain dead.”
What you see before you now is EXACTLY who he was back then. He does not change. The way zombies and mold don’t change.
Welp Craig, seems like you’re still an asshole, so things really don’t change.