If you work a 9-5 job or go to school, Saturday is your personal break from someone telling you where to be, what to do, and when to be there. It’s freedom at its finest.
If you’re unemployed, funemployed, or underemployed (I believe in the government data this is called the Ubetterworkbitch number) Saturday is the day you can spend time with your otherwise-employed friends and family. A day of gathering and get togethers, of no scheduled obligations, long dinners and beach picnics and whatever we’re doing for #WhiteBoySummer.
The life hack (god, as much as I hate that term, breathing is a life hack) is to get to a point in your life where every day feels like a Saturday. You can work at your own pace, spend time with the people you love, do the things that stimulate your brain, play. It’s also a day where if you’re one of those go-getters, you can wake up at 5am and feel superior to everyone, and if you wake up at noon you’re not behind.
My life goal is to live every day with the easy breathing of a Saturday.
Apparently, it was so
However, as you can see from the clip above, we were denied sweet, sweet 2007 reality TV escapism which could’ve become 2021 meme nostalgia, as seen by Victoria struggling to take her driver’s test at the DMV.
Apparently the premise was “she’s in on the joke!” which by 2007 was already a stale reality TV trope but still makes for some adorable moments, like her hairstylist accompanying her for her license photo, when celebrities were still treated as space aliens from a distant galaxy interacting with normal people and not Chrissy Teigen taking a dump on Twitter to be relatable.
I’ve immersed myself in the above because it’s far more fascinating/soothing than the boring/evil dynamic of Spring 2021 politics, which is a combination of watching Joe Biden proclaim executive action between falls and Corporate America tightening its vice grip on America’s balls.
At least reality TV tried to mimic reality.
No one’s had a truly satisfying answer for this for me yet.
Are they interchangeable? Does one have a shelf life?
It’s weird when women call their bfs “dude” but for guys it’s okay???
“Babe” seems really intimate and there will probably be a point where it’ll just slip out of your mouth, effortlessly, which means you’re really comfortable around them and then have to reel that back in for a bit.
“Dude” relies heavily on tone. It can be dismissive, endearing, pleading, pleased. It can also be the more public version of “babe” if need be. Saying “babe” in a group, that’s a big moment.
In public “Babe” is probably best whispered, with your hand at the small of his back.
Reserve “dude” for all other uses.
NO RAGERTS
How exactly could you top AOC’s hysterics about Jan 6 (though she was a few buildings away)?
At least Kamala’s running the show.
Only in Washington could you talk shit on a former boss you never supported to begin with then try to patch it all up with an op-ed.
I really hope Trump wins in 2024 on the “$2024 for every American” platform or some shit.
How is reassigning a WH Reporter that’s shtupping the Deputy Press Secretary to a different White House beat acceptable?
Basically, look askance at any Axios coverage of Kamala Harris.
The truth is I did get kicked out of Club Habanos twice, and then they got kicked out of the shopping center.
Like Trump – I’m undefeated!
They could’ve censured him and passed the $2k checks while he was still in office and had a good shot at 2022, and they’ve tripped over their own dicks yet again to “Orange Man Bad!” a Florida retiree.
Worst, they got extremely unpopular and soon to be primaried/term-limited Republicans to go along with the show trial.
As the kids say, it’s over for these hoes.
Remember in 2016 when she criticized him, then he hired her?
Now it’s back to backstabbing!
“Under the agreement, Pfizer will manufacture and deliver up to 100 million doses of its SARS-CoV-2 vaccine, BNT162b2, to Government designated locations. Under the terms of the agreement, Pfizer will deliver at least 70 million doses by June 30, 2021, with the balance of the 100 million doses to be delivered no later than July 31, 2021.
The additional doses ordered today provide for a seamless transition from the first 100 million doses contracted earlier this year.”
So the Trump admin ordered 200 million doses from Pfizer. But wait, there’s more!
“Today’s agreement also includes options for an additional 400 Million doses of the Pfizer vaccine. As part of ongoing coordination, the government and Pfizer are also continuing to discuss potential approaches to further strengthen our partnership and safely expand output and accelerate production.”
All the Biden admin had to do was say “yes”.
Thanks Trump!
Judging by the fact that we’re now balls deep into Impeachment 2: Electric Boogaloo with no signs of stopping, not only are you not getting your $2000, you’re not getting your $1400 either.
It’s worth being upset with Republicans because it’s the only thing that gets them to act. Maybe the Wall Street Journal can write an op-ed like “The Conservative Case for $2000 Checks Right Now” to light a fire under their asses.
But it’s also worth being upset with the hard-left Dems who cry “DIRECT ECONOMIC RELIEF” that are too busy Zapruder-film-examining footage of people shoplifting from the Capitol Gift Shop (not the 2 for 1 “Nancy!” gavels!!!) to give a damn about Americans who’ve been purposefully put out of work for going on a year now.
It was never about $2000.
It was never about $1400.
It was never about $600.
Tucker/Kanye
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Pence, I guess
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A piece of paper with a smiley face drawn on it
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Nikki Haley
Really hoping his return to radio doesn’t mean he’s running.
Also Republicans: “let’s give them fodder to set the narrative uwu”
This week there was a committee vote on Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA, I think?) and Republicans gave the Democrats a week of press about her being some bizarre combo of evil and crazy for sharing a few Facebook memes.
Why do they hate her so much? Could it be the face that The Notorious MTG, who ran a construction company and started a Crossfit gym, has a lot more in common with members of her district than other members of Congress?
Meanwhile, Republicans missed the layups of all layups – the nascent Biden administration failing to provide direct economic relief ($2000 checks) – from dropping the amount down to $1400 to lowering the amount of people eligible.
Do Republicans just want to lose in 2022?
They’re intent on playing an extremely dangerous game of holding up the stimulus while also playing funny numbers.
Remember “elect us and get your $2000”?
And that brings us to this “$2000 is actually $1400” shell game.
40% of Americans can’t afford a $400 emergency – $600 goes a long way!
It’s become increasingly obvious that Congress has zero interest in making any stimulus payment happen anytime soon, or it’d have already been done under the previous president.
There’s a new Democratic President now, and a new Democratic Congress, and no checks.
So what’s the holdup?
I’d like to think he’s doing what the gays do after they suffer a setback: going blonde.
Of course it’s a Staff Writer for The Atlantic, which sounds like something you’d hear on a first date just before asking for the check.
Why would he even bother wearing a new jacket?
At the very least he isn’t a sore loser, unlike one who was pictured there today.
It easily could’ve been Bernie on that stage. Could you imagine someone advocating for universal income and free [insert program here] during the hell that was 2020? Forget rigging machines, Trump wouldn’t have stood a chance.
So he’s earned the right to be pissed, watching the uniparty rise before him which he’s fought his whole life.
And he didn’t even get a cabinet role out of it.
“Disneyland, but statues” will probably end up being the most enduring legacy of the Trump administration since whatever pieces of The Wall will either have been removed or blown over by then, and I’m sure they’ll put a nice little plaque at the gate to thank him for it.
Some of the names being considered on this list are a bit much though. Hannah Arendt? WF Buckley? Whitney? Do we really need statues like participation trophies?
Look, if you’re gonna go through all that trouble, you have to pick an American icon that deserves a fucking statue, and that’s Anna Nicole Smith.
No one, and I mean no one, embodied the rise of America’s fortunes in the early 90s, the eventual crash in the late 90s, a brief return in the 00s, and then complete collapse better than Anna Nicole.
Like Anna Nicole, we’ll always remember America as glamorous, with huge cans, a reminder of our best years, seductive the world round.
And, like Anna Nicole, America is deeply sick, falling apart, with little impulse control, collapsing from within, being endlessly exploited.
Name recognition is a fine idea if your name isn’t centered around a single individual. Hell, the Kennedys have been making hay off that family name for six decades now.
But the idea that people should feel compelled to vote for the individual responsible for some of the worst policies in their father’s one-term administration isn’t just baffling, but an indication that no one in Trump’s orbit has learned their lesson from this go-around, and the only Trump kid who has a semblance of a shot at political office is probably Barron.
On top of that, look at the calculation here – Rubio’s a huge pain in the ass but primary him over, oh, I don’t know, that goofus from Utah?
