O’Hare: way too tired to observe. need water, food, rest
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Man driving cart thru DFW has no horn on cart, says *beep beep*, earns himself a place in my heart
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FYEAHFOXNEWSSTORE
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Dad walks past lady with her child, stumbles slightly as her kid moves towards in his direction in hallway.
Woman: really? assholes. I hate Dallas.
Me: excuse me…what did you just say?
Woman: uhh…that I hate the people in Dallas
Me: I really don’t think you should say words like that in front of your child.
Woman, with attitude: uh, do you have children?
Me: no, but I’m dealing with one right now
Woman: *silent*
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Dad: you fell asleep with your mouth open on the last flight and the guy next to you did too but he was snoring…loudly. so everyone thought it was you and I had to explain that it wasn’t
Me: pffft I don’t snore like some fat bastard. I snore elegantly. It’s like a Jaguar purr